The Unknown

I was very surprised the other night when I was lounging on the couch considering getting ready for bed when my water broke. Of course at only being 31 weeks along, this got my blood pumping. I hurried off to the hospital in town and they confirmed that indeed my water had broken and gave me Magnesium to stop the contractions. They sent me off in an ambulance to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita.

It was a long night as I waited to find out what the doctors thought would be best. Were they going to deliver the babies right away or wait? They finally decided to just closely monitor me and do their best to keep the babies in the womb until I reach 34 weeks. I spent the night not really sleeping as the nurses kept coming in checking on the babies heart rates. They weren't stabilizing and they started talking about delivery again. 

I of course just wanted to know what would happen. I wanted to know the plan. I don't like guessing. I don't like not being sure. I want to know what will happen and at exactly what moment it will take place. 

Their little heart rates stabilized and they moved me to another room where I will be spending the next 3 weeks or until I go into labor again. They are still monitoring the boys closely and I am on antibiotics to help reduce the risk of infection since my water broke. I also have been getting steroid shots to help with the development of their lungs. 

I have continued to learn so much during this pregnancy. I've learned a lot about trusting in God and fully relying in Him. I've learned about His overwhelming peace, grace, and love. I have learned as I've cried out God for help in times of great trouble that He is always with me: during the tumult of the storm and the calm.  

I DON'T KNOW what today or tomorrow holds.

I DON'T KNOW what time or day my sweet baby boys will arrive into the world.

I DON'T KNOW what it will be like or what to expect. 

I DON'T KNOW how long they will be in the NICU.

I DON'T KNOW what complications they might face or mountains we will be climbing.

However, I have peace. And this is why:

I DO KNOW that God is holding my precious family in His hands. 

I DO KNOW that He is good.

I DO KNOW that He knows the master plan

I DO KNOW that I can trust Him 

I DO KNOW that He has already done miracles for my little Lane and Eli and can continue to do that.

I DO KNOW that He has great plans for the lives of my boys

I DO KNOW that this is only the beginning of an incredible story and journey

So what I DO KNOW far outweighs THE UNKNOWN, the fears, and the worries.

The boys and I just less than a week ago.