The past month has been stressful to say the least. I never realized how much effort and energy it takes to be a mother. To tell you the truth the past 7 months with the boys has been a breeze compared to now. They are getting older and their schedules are changing. They have different personalities, which means they need different things at different times, and I can't quite figure out the best way to juggle their schedule with the other long list of things I need to get done in a day. They are now waking up at least once a night to eat (they have slept through the night since 2 months, so this is a tough one for me). It's just not easy like it used to be. I'm tired and I'm stressed. The housework is piling up. I have meals to think about making. Piles of laundry are calling my name. The boys aren't napping like normal.
Before this I had the boys on a very strict schedule and for the most part I knew exactly what to expect. It was like clockwork. Things are changing and sometimes change is hard. I like when things work the way I've planned. I like things to be on MY schedule and MY time.
Any moms out there have a similar feeling?? I know I can't be the only one.
So while this chaos that I'm feeling is driving me a little crazy, I've decided to stop giving into my feelings and start putting my focus and perspective elsewhere. Instead of throwing myself a pity party, my goal is to throw a celebration of thankfulness for all that God has blessed me with.
Here is a list (of simple things) of how I plan to start de-stressing my days and changing my focus (in case there is anyone else out there who is struggling too :)):
1. Make the bed everyday. I have never been into making the bed. Even as a teenager my mom was constantly asking me to make my bed. My thought on it was that there was no point to making a bed that you will just ruin later on that day. Even as an adult I've not been good at making a point to make the bed, but recently I've started doing better. I don't know why this is, but something about making the bed makes me feel good. Maybe it's because it makes the bedroom look nicer and neater, but it really puts me in a better mood to see the bed made. And then when you go to bed you don't have to lay down in the wrinkly sheets from the night before. :)
2. If you have windows let some light in! I have lots of windows in my house, but for awhile I mostly just kept the curtains closed. Well, I've started opening them and when all that light pours in it wakes me up. I get extra energy to accomplish tasks. It makes me feel alive.
3. When frustration sets in...BREATH and just let it go. I have a hard time breathing when my plans or schedule doesn't work, especially with the boys, because once they are off the normal schedule I know I'm in for a rough day. I'm learning that I have to just let it go. Let go of the control and remain calm through the changes.
4. Take the time to read the Bible or a devotional each day. I know this is hard when you are a busy mom and I often fail at making time for this, but when I do my day is so much better. My favorite thing to do right now is read a devotion. The best devotional that I can recommend is any of Sarah Young's books. She has several and I own most of them. They are short enough so you can't have the excuse of having no time. They really help set the tone for my day. I'm always encouraged and seem to read the exact thing that I need to hear. For example todays devotional started out with "Learn to live from a place of resting in Me [God] Since I -the Prince of Peace- am both with and within you, you can choose to live from this peaceful place of union with Me..." (this excerpt is from "Jesus Today" by Sarah Young) "
"Ummm...Okay God are you trying to tell me something here?"
"Resting in You...why wasn't that the first thing on my mind?"
5. Thank God for everything. When the boys are cranky and I don't know what to do for them, or I really just don't feel like I have it in me to wash one more bottle or change one more diaper, I realize I start thinking thoughts I don't like. For example, "I don't like being a mother" "This isn't what I signed up for" "I'm not enjoying them" "I just wish they could go somewhere for a few hours so I can get a break" I don't like these thoughts, not one bit. I want to love being a mom. I want to enjoy every moment I get to spend with my little boys. Frustration sets in and steals my joy. Lately when I notice this happening I start thanking God. Thanking him for my little miracles. Thanking Him that I get the privilege to be their mom.
When the dishes are piling up and my back hurts from bending over the sink, I start thanking God. Thanking him that I have two hands to wash dishes with. Thanking Him that we have plenty of food to go on these dishes.
A thankful heart goes a long way to making your day joyful. It renews you. It gives you a new way of looking at life. A book that I have been reading, but have not finished (because what mom has time to sit and read) is called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. It's all about how she changed her perspective to a thankful mindset. Thanking God for literally EVERYTHING. It has definitely helped me see how much more I need to thankful.
6. Get out the Crockpot. If you don't have one, you need one. When it comes to making meals for my husband the crockpot is my best friend. I usually don't have much time to prepare a dinner around dinner time, so at about 12 or 1 I just throw some food in the crockpot let it cook until it's done and serve it on a plate. It makes life so much easier. There are a ton of tasty but easy meals to make in the crockpot. Another thing that I love to do is buy rotisserie chickens. I cut all the meat off the bones and section it into dishes to store in the freezer. Then if I have a meal that needs cooked chicken I already have some on hand. This saves a lot of time. Also make a weekly meal plan. This is great because you don't have to think about what you are going to make for dinner, you already know. I don't always follow mine though. Some days I just don't feel like making what I have written down for that day so I choose something else for the week.
7. Make a list. I like lists. I really like to cross things off the list. I find that making a to do list and crossing off the items as I get them done helps me stay focused on what I need to do for the day. Even better, crossing something off the list feels like such an accomplishment. Now, you just can't let the list overwhelm you. If you don't get everything done, no big deal. That's what tomorrow is for.
8. Come up with a cleaning schedule. Cleaning my house is very overwhelming to me. With twins and constantly feeling like I am taking care of them, cleaning becomes a low priority on the totem pole. However, a clean house just makes you feel better and less stressed. Clutter drives me crazy and my house is pretty much cluttered 100% of the time. I've decided to help with this I'm going to try to stick to a cleaning schedule. For example, Mon- clean bedrooms Tues- clean bathrooms Wed- clean floors Thurs- clean kitchen Fri- clean Living room Sat- Laundry day. Pick whatever works for you. I think having a cleaning schedule helps take away the overwhelming feeling of trying to get everything done in one day. If you miss a cleaning day, breath, don't sweat it.
9. Take moments to enjoy the moments. Sit down and play with your children. Hold them and hug them and love on them. Give them a little extra attention. Enjoy your time with them. Instead of waiting to "deal" with them when they are cranky or fussy, spend some time with them while they are happy. It will help you remember how much fun it really is to be a stay at home mom. Someday they will be all grown up and you will wish you could go back to those days that seemed so hard at the time.
I feel like I should have a number 10, but I don't. That's all I got.
Anyway, more than anything this list is my new motto for each day, my new perspective, my new focus. I tired of being frustrated and overwhelmed, so I'm choosing to to change my attitude. It's not going to be easy and I'm sure I'll fail at times and forget all about this list, but it's not about perfection. It's about changing. It's about my heart. It's about being thankful.
